


Misery Hates Company but Gets it Anyway

by Sophrederick



Category: Temeraire - Naomi Novik
Genre: Anxiety, Depression?, Friendship, Gen, I just want everyone to be friends okay?, but mostly anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:15:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23500684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sophrederick/pseuds/Sophrederick
Summary: Hiding his regular bouts of melancholy had been so much easier in the Navy, Laurence reflected.
Relationships: John Granby & William Laurence, William Laurence & Temeraire
Comments: 6
Kudos: 70





	Misery Hates Company but Gets it Anyway

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for/inspired by a new friend from the Temeraire Discord server. I like to think that if they could, our cats would take care of us when we're anxious the way Temeraire does here.

Granby could be heard muttering angrily under his breath as he searched for his captain, “Damn Navy man, skipping meals and worrying his dragon half to death, as if he can hide from the world’s largest worrywart…” and so on and so forth.

Of course he had already checked the places Laurence could normally be found in the afternoon, and now had to move on to less likely places. Granby now headed for the man’s living quarters, which he usually only spent much time in just before and after supper. Knocking as a courtesy, Granby entered Laurence’s room without waiting for an invitation. He hadn’t specifically expected anything, but Granby definitely had not expected to find him huddled in blankets on his bed staring vacantly at the wall.

“Hello,” Laurence said, turning sluggishly toward Granby’s entrance, “is everything well?” He made no indication of either rising or resting, only moved his gaze to the other man’s shoulder.

“You tell me. Temeraire hasn’t see you all day, and near as I can tell you haven’t eaten breakfast or lunch. Are you ill?” Granby asked doubtfully. While he didn’t expect Laurence to laze about all day, nor did his appearance seem to indicate any physical ailment.

Hiding his regular bouts of melancholy had been so much easier in the Navy, Laurence reflected. No one there would be so informal as to invite themselves into his personal space, and before Temeraire no one had paid him such close attention. It turned out to be difficult to keep anything from someone whose first priority was to ensure Laurence’s comfort and well-being.

Laurence sighed, finally casting away his blankets and rising with the air of a man twice his age. “I suppose I should see to him. No, I’m perfectly well. I only find myself afflicted with this peculiar discomfort from time to time.” Granby automatically followed Laurence as he left the room while speaking, presumably headed for Temeraire’s clearing.

To an outsider’s observation Laurence would seem quite normal, showing no extra motion or distraction. It was only to Granby’s more familiar eye that the differences were apparent; the normally observant captain looked only forward to his path, and his normally straight shoulders and neck seemed slouched as though under a great weight.

“Can I fetch you something from the kitchens?” Granby offered, growing more concerned without any definable reason.

“No, I thank you. I find my appetite quite absent today.” Laurence stopped speaking, seeming as though he had more to say but the words had vanished, and he remained silent as they continued.

“Laurence!” Temeraire exclaimed at their approach. “There you are! Oh Granby, thank you ever so for fetching him. Laurence, do tell me you weren’t secluding yourself in your room again, when I’ve told you I’m more than happy to have you here on your grey days.” He scooped Laurence into the curve of his curled body, moving one large wing to provide shade and a barrier to all but one side.

Laurence opened his mouth as if to speak, but closed it again when Temeraire continued. “Granby, do find someone to fetch him some water, and perhaps some biscuit? I’m sure he hasn’t eaten like this, and we mustn’t let him fall ill from poor nutrition.”

“My dear, pray let Granby return to his duties. I am certain he has already spent enough time escorting me here.” Laurence had all but slid onto the ground against his dragon, and looked both calmer at the company and more distressed at the prospect of troubling Granby more than he already had.

“Oh nonsense. Granby is your friend too, and I doubt he wants you to starve yourself and suffer in secret any more than I do. Isn’t that so?” Temeraire asked Granby. If he had been inclined to disagree, having a heavyweight dragon in his face asking for compliance would have dissuaded him.

Temeraire took Granby’s approval for granted, continuing, “Only he gets like this some days, where the world seems too much, and then entirely without color, or so he has described it. I try to take care of him then, but,” Temeraire now looked scoldingly at his captain, “I cannot do that if he hides from me.” Deciding that refreshment had waited this long and could wait a bit longer, Granby entered the wing enclosure to look questioningly at Laurence. Laurence glanced at his friend and then closed his eyes in shame.

“He speaks truly. I feel as though my skin is detached, and my insides shake, and normal activities seem daunting or outright impossible. I apologize to make you trouble yourself, but I assure you this will pass soon enough.” Granby watched as he huddled now into the end of Temeraire’s tail, wrapped securely around him. Laurence seemed, if not better in the company of his dragon, at least not worse. Noting this, Granby gave a quick nod and left to see about the requested food. He didn’t know how to respond to this strange revelation, but surely tea never hurt anyone, and while he was away he could find a book to read to Temeraire while Laurence was indisposed.

When Granby returned, neither man nor dragon had moved, except that Temeraire’s wind had now fully surrounded Laurence but for a small slit for light. He set the tea, water, and biscuits on the ground in front of Laurence, and sat himself on Temeraire’s foreleg in the designated reading spot.

And so Laurence passed the afternoon. His chest still felt tight, and his hands still shook as in fear, but his stomach calmed to no longer be empty. The world was still too bright and too loud, but he could now see little but black ceiling and walls, and hear little but Temeraire’s heartbeat and Granby’s bright voice tripping over unfamiliar words. Laurence knew he was no more safe for the distraction, but he felt it gratefully regardless.

The grey days would not cease entirely, but Laurence and his pride had already lost the battle. Between a worried dragon and a practical caring friend, he would eventually be taught to face those days in their company. They couldn’t banish his melancholy entirely, but they could refuse to let him suffer it alone.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first thing I've written in like six years, so please be gentle with me.  
> And when you feel anxious, please be gentle with yourself.


End file.
